A Pair of Aces

This past week I visited two fortune-tellers, not for any pressing concern of what lies ahead of me, but rather a curiosity of the profession, and the manner in which "seers" see. Following are the accounts of the two very different visits, and the bold and not-so-bold predictions for my future...

For characterization's sake, we'll call the first fortune-teller Dave. I had been bugging my friends Sophanuon and Sofi to take me to a prophesier for several weeks, and they finally agreed to accompany me. Sophanuon knew the place, a man who was well respected and not only saw the future, but healed sick folks and solved others' problems. We arrived to the house about 7 in the evening; there, a group of people were waiting outside with large plates incense, candles and fruit, apparently for an offering. As Dave had not yet arrived, I too bought some incense and candles, and we waited for some time before he showed.

Following the group of folks who had been waiting, we took off our shoes and walked up the wooden stairs to the single small room on the second floor of the house. On the balcony outside the room, there was a small shrine containing a dozen Buddhas of various sizes, all smiling serenely (Have you ever seen a figure of Jesus Christ smiling? If I have I can't remember...). Anyway, copying Sofi, I knelt in front of the largest Buddha and incense pot, put my palms together and closed my eyes, and cleared my mind for a brief moment.

We stepped into the room, about 15 people were seated on the floor along with the collective offerings, all fixated on Dave, a young round-faced man dressed in white silk pajamas and seated on a low platform at the head of the room. I placed my offering in front of the altar with the others, along with several dollars. In the room were dozens more Buddha statues and the walls were hung with posters depicting dozens more. A pungent cloud of incense permeated the space. Around the ceiling was a string of blinking Christmas lights. Coupled with the percussive Buddhist music being played on a small stereo, it made for a rather bizarre setting. This music is often heard here coming from the temples/pagodas, its strangely similar to an ice cream truck's jangly melody.

We took a seat at the back of the small room, and listened while Dave told stories and joked with the visitors. Of course, he spoke only in Khmer, so I understood nearly nothing, but I was happy to observe. After 30 minutes or so, someone cranked the music up, and in an instant Dave began his transformation, channeling the "seer". Still seated, he bent forward placing his forehead on the ground, facing the concentration of Buddhas to his left. He remained motionless for several moments, and the popped up in a flash and began an elaborate series of gestures with his hands and arms. His eyes had rolled back completely, showing only the whites. In an eerie, high-pitched voice, he chanted for several moment before settling and asking the first person to propose a question/request.

I waited my turn while he, one-by-one, answered folks' questions and offered advice. He spoke the entire time in the same eerie voice, almost like a 6 year-old girl, all the while with his eyes rolled back in his head. When it was my turn, Sofi and I moved up to the front of the room, and sat at the base of the platform, within arm's reach of Dave. Sofi introduced me, and politely asked him to see my future regarding work, family, health, love, etc. Dave first asked what year I was born and then took a long look at my palms (not sure how he saw anything though, with his eyes staring at his brain). He spoke in short declarative bursts, though there was an inquisitive wavering to his voice that made it difficult to discern his conviction.

As Sofi could not interrupt his auguring discourse to translate, she relayed it to me much after we had left. We ducked out of the room, receiving smiles from the folks still waiting. I suppose Dave's predictions were much more general than I had anticipated, but the dramatic nature in which he delivered them made the visit most compelling. Following is his prognosis:

1. That I should not leave the Asian continent, good things await me here.
2. That I will be successful in my career, but that my co-workers will continuously give me trouble.
3. Though I am constantly surrounded by female friends, I currently have no love prospects. However, there is a considerable chance that I will be married next year.
4. That I will have good health throughout my life, but it will gradually deteriorate with age (shocking!)
5. Finally he said that he didn't want to see too much, and that I should return in three days.

While I did not go back to see Dave, two days later I did visit another fortune teller, this time a woman of about 50 years with dyed, light-brown hair (we'll call her Rose) who used a pack of playing cards to divine. When we arrived at the house, some young children greeted us and showed us upstairs to their grandmother Rose, in a room with little furniture, save a Buddhist shrine and a sheet-less mattress upon which I sat. Rose wasted little time after the brief introductions, and quickly offered me the cards with a great big grin.

I shuffled and cut upon her instruction; she fanned all the cards out face-down on a small mat in front of the shrine, and asked me to pick one with my left hand, and one with my right. I drew the Ace of Spades and the Ace of Diamonds. Now I realize that utilizing playing cards to predict the future is a bit ludicrous, but if they are indeed the parameters of our prophecy, two Aces are awfully auspicious. Rose, at no loss for opinions, words, or smiles, began to tell me a bit about my life up until this point. She said I began an adventurous life at age 19 (the exact year I went travelling alone for the first time) and had been making my own way ever since, not following the herd. This is quite accurate, but Rose also seemed to think I had been involved in some terrible accident while young, which is not true. She asked me shuffle and cut again, though this time she dealt the cards on the mat face-up and pointed to several, explaining to Sofi their significance. We did this about a half-dozen times, each time Rose dealt the cards in a different pattern and expounded on what they meant to my life. She also took some time to examine my palm and explain what different lines meant. She was enthusiastic and warm throughout the reading, during which a white rabbit with red eyes sat next to me on the mattress, and told me the following:

1. That I would have a long, happy, and healthy life, though I would care too much about helping people, causing me a great deal of stress. She said this at least four times.
2. That I would not be good at business, but that I would be wealthy and comfortable in life. A rich spouse perhaps?
3. That I am good at saving money, but that I would spend spontaneously, often on others.
4. That next year is a fortuitous one for marriage (this has something to with being born in the Year of the Goat and age 29)
5. That I am not ready to settle down, and don't like to depend on people.
6. That I should return home early next year to be close to my family, but she said immediately after that I don't like to follow others' advice, and I would make my own decision.

Rose had so much to say I can't possibly recollect it all. However she seemed to genuinely believe her cards and intuition. She was most happy that I had come to see her and thanked me a great many times, clasping my hands in hers, before we departed.

While it is intriguing to consider whether or not the foretellings might be true, as expected I found the engagement of the would-be oracles most fascinating.